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I'm hungry, when's lunch? Right now. Hi, Susie! Oh look, you've got your stuffed tiger! Can I squeeze him? What are you crazy?
Hobbes is a ferocious man-eating jungle beast! Ferocious? He looks fuzzy and cuddly to me! Ha! Beneath that soft exterior lie terrible mandibles of bone crushing death! He'll grind you into hamburger! Each mighty paw hides razor-sharp claws to rip the living hide off any human that wanders too close! He's a monster! No, he's not. He's a big cutie. Oh no! I can't look!! ... so what happened to the mandibles of death. You sissy furball?!? I was beguiled by her feminine charms. Yow. Go soak your head. Calvin and Hobbes are playing football. Calvin doesn't snap the ball, because he's the quarterback for the other team. He's a traitor. Calvin heads for the goal. Hobbes says he's running the wrong way. When he learned Calvin was a spy, he switched goals. Calvin's is hidden. Calvin says as a traitor, crossing his goal counts as crossing Hobbes' goal. Hobbes says Calvin's goal is hidden right under Hobbes', so the points will go to him. Calvin says he's really a double-agent. Hobbes will lose points if Calvin crosses his goal. Hobbes retorts that he's also a traitor. The points will go to Calvin's team, which is really his team. Calvin admits that would be true, except he's really a badminton player disguised as a double-agent football player. Hobbes is secretly a volleyball-croquet-polo player. Calvin says sooner or later, all their games turn into Calvinball.